


Child of Cliche 2.0

by Blue_FireFlower



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Annoying voice in my head, Everyone is scary, Gen, Help this poor girl out, Hisoka is creepy, Hunter Exam (Hunter X Hunter), Isekai, Kurapika is scary, Leorio is great and y'all can fight me, Main character Swears A Lot, Meta, Parody, Reluctant main character, Remember that they're children, Swearing, Unwilling main character, like a lot, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28079283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_FireFlower/pseuds/Blue_FireFlower
Summary: I just wanted to eat Ramen and watch the Great Gatsby. Was that too much to ask, universe?I never wanted to be pulled from my world into this crazy girl's bad fanfiction as her main character, but I guess I can never get what I want here. So now, against my will might I add, I'm stuck in the child body of the most bland Mary Sue that I have ever read about, taking an exam that is trying to kill me at every moment, and having to deal with the annoying author yelling at me for not doing whatever she said. Not to mention these weirdos with a whole lot of trauma and fighting fetishes that I'm stuck with.To all of you reading through my suffering for entertainment, I hope you stub your toe on the dresser tonight.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	1. Prologue: Whom the fuck are you?

Sometimes I think the universe hates me. Why else would I be dragged into this mess on a Saturday of all things? All I wanted to do was to eat some instant ramen and watch the Great Gatsby with my sister while ignoring my own assignments. Was that so much to ask?

I was just in my kitchen, waiting for the water in the kettle to boil while my sister set up the DVD player to watch her English project instead of reading the book (I thought her well). Just as I was about to turn off the stove, a massive light came from the ramen cups and hit me straight in the face, knocking me out cold. I didn't even know light could hurt until that moment.

When I came to, I was laying down in a weird forest clearing, surrounded by trees that looked to flat to be real. Now I knew for a fact that this was not anywhere near my house. I lived in the middle of a city in Nebraska, where the nearest area full of trees were the parks and even that was a  20-minute drive. Unless someone broke into my house and dumped me here, there is no way that I could have gotten here on my own.

"How did I get here?" I asked out loud.

"BECAUSE OF MEEEEEEEEEEE!" A high pitch, feminine voice shouted from the sky, nearly shattering my eardrums.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I cried out as something crashed into me directly on my back, sending me down face first into the grass and dirt. I struggled to spit out the dirt that got in my mouth.

The massive weight quickly sobered me up and my agitation and annoyance for the situation began to grow. I tried to push myself up, but the weight of this new thing on my back was keeping me down. I could feel my lungs constrict at the pressure.

"IT IS I? THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY!" The voice screamed even louder, the shrill tone grating against my ears.

I could feel a headache coming on.

"GET OFF OF ME!" I screamed, trying in vain to wiggle my way out.

To my anger, she stayed where she was at, planted firmly on my back which was starting to cave in on itself.

"Welcome to the world of Hunter x Hunter, where adventure that all your friends will be jealous of awaits! Where Hunters, Nen user and assassins run wild! Who wouldn't want to be here?!" She said, her words sounding like those bad brochures she was forced to make in Geography right before class.

I wasn't really listening to her, as I was too focused on my back slowly deforming itself from the sheer weight. How much did this chick weigh? Or was I just really weak?

"Now, you may be wondering, 'How did I get in this situation?' Well, I'm here to tell ya that I was bored in class and cooked up this little plot and you were the person I chose to carry this out on! Isn't that great?"

In a last burst of determination, I managed to find the strength to push her off of me. I gasped, feeling the sweet air burn my lungs. I wiped the single tear away from my eye as I turned around, only to come face to face with the most  bizarre person I have ever seen (and I've seen some shit on my campus).

This chick was around, maybe 13 or 14 years old. She was slightly chubby, wearing clothes that resembled more of a doll than anything else. It was a rather poofy dress, black in color and full of white frills and ribbons and god knows what else. It looked like a mix of Gothic Lolita and Maid fashion. Her hair was dyed bubblegum pink and cut into a bob haircut and with blue eyes that were probably brighter than my future. In all, a stereotypical child's first OC.

My jaw dropped.

"But wait! That's not all!" She said, completely ignoring me pushing her or my reaction to her appearance. "You get to live the dream life as a whole new person! Isn't that awesome?!"

She smiled at me, waiting for my response. After a few stunned seconds, I managed to worked past my shock and say something.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I told you! I'm the Author!" She said, rolling her eyes. "Jeez, you got to listen me if you want to survive this place."

I yelped as she suddenly grabbed me and pulled me to my feet, the force nearly tripping me again. She only came up to my chest. How was she this much stronger than me?

Actually, that's not much of an accomplishment. I have weak, noodle arms.

Before I could demand an explanation, she started talking again.

"Listen here, sugar. I just granted you the best wish ever and I have gifted you with the most amazing persona for this place. You can thank me later, hun."

"Thank you?!"

"You're welcome!"

"That is not what I meant!" I shouted at her, pushing her away from me. "Where am I and how did I get here? Are you some sort of crazy kidnapper? If this is a prank, this isn't funny!"

She didn't  seem at all fazed at me push and instead stuffed her hands in her dress pockets, completely relaxed. My eye twitched in annoyance.

"I already explained this. You are my test subject for this fanfiction and we are currently in the Hunter x Hunter world!" She paused. "Or, really just the plane between our worlds. Not important!"

I blinked, looking around. Then blinked again,  trying to form a response.

It took me quite a bit to respond to that, but when I did, let me tell ya, it was a storm of swear words, insults and a bunch of things that I cannot say because they will get me flagged or reported to the Holy Mods. Yeah, I wasn't really proud of the way that I acted, but come on! How would you react in that situation?

So, after I calmed down a bit...a lot...

"Woah there, Nelly. That's quite a mouth that you've got there." She laughed, as if I didn't just insult her mother and everything else. "I knew I was right in picking you."'

I huffed, out of breath from the long rant that I just did. I was about to start yelling again, when I found that my lips were closed together and would not open, no matter how much I tugged and screamed. What the actual fuck?!

"Now now! We're never going to get this story rolling if you don't let me explain what's going to go down. I'll explain and you just sit back and listen. Ok? Ok!"

She pushed me, causing me to fall back onto a chair I knew was not there a second ago. My eyes widened as she pulled out a giant chalkboard from behind her, despite there being no logical way that something that size would fit in her pocket. Since when did she have access to a  hammer space ?

She cleared her throat.

"Alright. So, here's what's happening." She said. "My name is Blue-FireFlower, though you can call me Blue, and this is the rewrite of my first fanfiction (that I've posted)! You see, I have been watching the show for a good week now and have decided to write the best fanfiction ever! And what better way to make a great story than to have the absolute best character ever to tell it from!"

She pointed at me with a  laser pointer that suddenly appeared in her hand.

"This is where you come in, my friend! I have devised a strategy to make this plan a success and I'm going to need you to live it out for me!"

My eyes widened even more and I quickly shook my head, screaming at this insane girl's proposal. or at least, trying to scream. My lips were still sealed shut.

"Glad you understand! Wanna see the character I created for you?"

More frantic shakes of my head.

She ignored me and pressed the screen of a projector, which God knows where that came from, and suddenly, a very familiar character was seen on the whiteboard.

'That is Ooka Miko from Utau.' I thought in horror.

Did this chick really just take art of a random character from the internet to represent her character? Did she even do the research on what art she stole? She does know that she isn't even from an anime, right?

"This is my super cool OC, Natsuki Sahara! She's 12 years old and really awesome!"

God, save me! That's just a random Japanese name from an online generator!

"She is from the Yato clan, a clan of bloodthirsty people who are known to be strong and deadly on the battlefield! Even more powerful that Killua's family!"

She stole that from Gintama!

"However, her clan was massacred by Hunters to the point of near extinction many years ago because they were killing so much and had a large bounty on their heads!"

That's Black*Star's backstory from Soul Eater!

"Because of this, they were forced to live in their own refugee camps, hiding from the public. Some even vowed to kill all Hunters in the name of their god!"

That's just Fullmetal Alchemist right there! Why?!

I think I was crying at the stupidity at this point. What else is she going to rip off? Steven Universe?

"Her powers are so cool too!"

Someone save me! I beg of you. Give me death. I'll pay you in anime trivia or chocolate.

"I tried not to make her overpowered, so I only gave her the basics!"

Why did that sound like a lie? I'm so scared.

"She has a lot of strength, but not as much as her other clan members! She's really smart too, but that's only book smarts. She's rather naive on the streets!"

Wait...this...this is actually getting good. It's not the best, but it's better than what most OCs have. Maybe there's hope after all.

"She's also the Leader's daughter, so she's technically a princess!"

DAMMIT!

I cried, bashing my head into the desk that just appeared before me. I guess the universe felt a bit sorry for me now.

I had to tune out everything that she was saying from this point on and continued to pound my head into the desk. My brain cells were begging for me to hurl myself into an active geyser.

"Now onto her personality!" She was shouting at this point.

I have a feeling that I'm not going to like this.

"She's really shy around everyone, but also really outgoing and very polite, growing up as royalty. She also very kind and polite, but can also get really mean and sadistic when she's angry. She hates killing, but not if you hurt someone she cares about! She also...blah...blah blah...blah..."

All these personality traits contradict each other!

I want to die. God, if you're out there, please smite me. I'll gladly go to my place in hell to get away from here.

"And that is my character! Any questions?"

With a snap of her fingers, my mouth was free from its restraints. I didn't say anything for a minute, trying to collect my thoughts. My eye twitched at the sheer stupidity of this whole thing. Alright, I have to calm down before I proceed.

I took a deep breath and rose from my chair. I took another deep breath, trying to remind myself that this was a child. She probably didn't know the basics to making an interesting character. Normally, the best course of action was to let her have her fun. She'd grow out of this phase like all authors do and it wasn't affecting me to let her do this.

Actually, fuck that. This WAS affecting me right now.

"You do realize that this will never work, right?" I asked, keeping voice calm.

'What do you mean?' She asked, confusion on her face.

I shook my head.

"None of this makes any sense." I said calmly. "A lot of this information contradicts each other."

She gave me a blank look.

"First of all, if this clan is oh-so powerful and stronger than any other, then how the hell did they get wiped out by Hunters while the Zoldyck Family gets away completely untouched every time? Wouldn't they kill the Hunters before they could die first?"

More blank looks.

"Second, if my clan hates Hunters with a passion, why am I taking the exam to be one in the first place? Wouldn't I be encouraged to attack Hunters instead of becoming one? What purpose would a  license even have if I'm in a refugee camp?"

She started to blush.

"Third, princess? Really? Of a camp of survivors? I thought I wasn't supposed to be overpowered here? I would understand if there were multiple children, but you're making me seem like the sole heir to the Yato clan or something. It honestly seems like you just  sandwich all your favorite  animes together."

She frowned a bit and looked down.

"Fourth, I've only seen up the episode 30 and some clips of the later series before dropping it months ago! Why me  and not some  diehard fan or the series? I mean, you've only watched a week's worth of episodes. I know there's no rule to writing fanfiction, but I really think you should watch a bit more before you write one of such a long series."

She remained silent.

"Fifth, how the hell am I shy, but really outgoing? And why do I hate fighting and killing, but my culture thrives on it? Does that make sense to you?"

She blinked.

"Finally, this 'design' won't really work for this world!"

"And why not?" She snapped, crossing her arms and pouting.

"This character, Ooka Miko, is a tiny  3.5-year-old wolf hybrid that switches genders when she switches forms. Does that sound like something that belongs in this anime?"

"Well no. But that's that character! This one is mine and I'm just using the design! She doesn't have to be a wolf!" She tried to reason.

I facepalmed.

"Even if that's the case, you're missing something very important here."

"What?"

"Her eyes are red." I said, pointing at them like it was obvious. Because it honestly was.

"What does that have to do with anything? I personally like red eyes on characters. They look cute." She asked, sticking her nose up and huffing.

I twitched again, pushing down my  ever-growing annoyance.

"What other character has red eyes in this series?" I asked, starting to become more and more annoyance.

"Um...Kurapika." She said, though it sounded like more of a question.

"And why is that?" I asked slowly.

"Because he's a Kur...ta...oooohhhh."

She finally got it.

"And what am I not?" I asked.

"A Kurta..."

I sighed in relief. Maybe she'll finally get this and I can go home.

She then pushed me to the ground.

"NO! THIS IS MY STORY AND MY CHARACTER! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH HER AND THIS FANFICTION! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN TOO BAD!" She screamed in my ear.

Suddenly, the ground broke from right under me and I fell into the abyss.

I screamed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amber arrives at the exam and Blue fucks it up

It's been three days since I got yeeted out of my dimension into what I can without a doubt say is my own personal version of hell. To say I was pissed about being dumped in the middle of this Crapsack World in Ooka Miko's body, minus the wolf features, to live out this crazy bitch's wish fulfillment fantasy was an understatement. And it was due to said 'pissed off-ness' did I realize just what I had been forced into.

The second I woke up (that brief hour of panic and swearing did not occur), I took out my anger by punching a tree. I expected pain, probably a few broken bones or blood or something, and while it did hurt like a bitch, I did NOT expect the tree to go flying. One might think that I ripped the tree straight from the roots. Oh no no no. My rage induced punch was so powerful that it broke the tree clear in half, sending the top shooting through the poor forest and leaving behind the torn apart stump.

As I stared blankly in disbelief of what I just done, it finally sunk in that this was not my world nor was this my flabby, weak, feeble and out of shape college student body. It took a while before I was used to the amount of strength this new body had. I would grip stuff too hard, shattering the objects to pieces by accident, or take off running too fast and ram myself into the trees before I could stop. I could only imagine what I could do once I'm forced to learn Nen. It didn't help that Blue kept yelling at me about it.

Oh yeah. She's here too, by the way. Speaks right into my head whenever I do something that she deems OOC or if she just wants to tell me random stuff at certain times of the day. I jumped so hard I decimated a boulder the first time she did it and it's still hard not to flinch whenever she decides to speak out of the blue (no pun intended). God, forcing myself to act like her character was making me want to commit die. It hurt acting so shy and scared and like a shrinking violet at everything, even when I was alone. So basically, every bad shoujo manga protagonist ever.

But the part that I hated the most was the god forsaken body that my soul was pushed into. The first thing I noticed was that I shrunk. Gone was my glorious, 5'5 body of a 19 year old girl and in its place, was the puny and frail looking form of Miko's 4'11 child self. You'd think she'd stop at just the looks, but wrong again. My voice had been changed to hers and I honestly found this part the most annoying. Ooka Miko was voice acted and edited to sound like a high pitched child, which would never let me be taken seriously in the future. I already look like I was made of porcelain and would break at just the wrong touch. Sure, it could help having people underestimate me and give me an advantage, but I still don't like it.

But I'm rambling, so let's get to the good stuff, no? Allow me to recap what happened.

See, I walked for 2 days in whatever direction that Blue had told me to, lost and confused with nothing but these uncomfortable doll clothes and and a backpack full of snacks, a few throwing knives and daggers, a random book that I could hit people with, some money that I didn't even know how to use and 6 water bottles that I drained and refilled twice already in nearby streams. Surprisingly, new things (such as fresh food or a water purifier) appeared whenever I feel like I need something. At least Blue gave me something useful for this trip.

Not that I would ever admit it to her.

I hit Zaban City on the morning of the third day and found the ramen shop right after that, standing next to the vendors and buying some trinkets I thought looked nice as I waited for a guide to come out. I did manage to find one after watching him come to the shop a total of 4 times that took me to the test, but it took a while to convince him (I had to buy him lunch and beat him in a duel) that a very small child like me could survive it. Dammit child body. It also helped that I tackled him to the ground and broke the concrete next to his head, but we don't talk about that.

After a few moments where I seriously debated ditching the whole thing (Blue screaming at me to not), I found myself in the elevator and into the tunnels where I would surely meet my death. It's something I have come to accept...mostly. I have a feeling that this place is going to kill me. The phases of the exam were going to kill me and if they didn't, everything that happened afterwards was going to end my life. I was going to die one way or another in this messed up world and if I didn't, I would die on the inside like the rest of the cast.

(Seriously, why couldn't I be sent to a world like OHSHC? Hell, I would even take an anime like Detective Conan over this place. At least I have a chance of surviving there.)

Which brings us to the present. I was currently in the large halls, chewing on my fifth apple and sitting away from the rest of the group. The room was surprisingly larger compared to how it was shown in the anime. Or maybe because I'm so fucking short that everything just seems bigger and more threatening. Yes, I'm still salty about my reduction in height.

It had only gotten more crowded since I got here and the tension only grew by the moment, forcing me to move to a secluded spot so as to not suffocate. But because I was by myself, it made it easier for people to see me and stare. I'm not actually surprised about that. It does seem rather weird that a little, fragile looking girl in strange clothing was taking a deadly exam along with people who were probably twice her age and triple her size with decades of more experience than her. Hell, even the other females here were larger and more put together than I was. It was nerve-racking to say the least.

I pulled my hood up over my face a bit more and bit into the apple, chewing slowly to calm my nerves and stop shaking.

None of the fanfictions that I've read ever mentioned how terrifying it was to actually be here. I wasn't like Gon who was oblivious to the tension and heavy feeling of the room, nor was I like Killua who could ignore it no problem. I could feel my stomach twist into itself the longer I sat there, trying to block out the stares or whispers I heard from around me. I couldn't see why anyone would want to be in this position. This wasn't fun.

There was no adrenaline rush, no excitement to live out my dream, which frankly was never there to begin with, and there was absolutely no shred of glee to meet these characters that I honestly feared more than anything. Killua, who has murdered many with his bare hands and felt nothing towards it because it was part of a job. Gon, the sweet bur deranged kid that slowly slipped in sanity the longer the series went on. Kurapika, who honestly scares me the most out of the entire cast, who was willing to fight to the death for his ambitions even if the world crumbled around him. Even Leorio, by far the closest thing that you can call pure in this series, had the strength great enough to rival his friends and break bones with ease. That wasn't even close to what others like Hisoka or Illumi could do to me. One wrong step around them and my life is gone.

I felt myself start to shake even harder at the mere thought of them. Every character in this series goes downhill towards self destruction one way or another. Their brute strength and wits, as amazing as they were, were terrible to see in real life. I destroyed a fucking tree like it was nothing and I've never been more scared in my life. God, I was so scared. Gon scared me. Killua scared me. Leorio scared me. Kurapika was downright terrifying. In a world where life holds no value, I had to be stuck with the characters that are more that willing to end one.

Unless I avoid the main cast for the rest of my life.

I didn't want to be here like those other girls in the fanfictions. I had no desire to live out the adventures of the series. I didn't want to fall in love with a psychotic main character that could probably kill me in a heartbeat. I didn't want to risk losing my life every day or putting myself through brutal training just for the hope that I'll maybe survive. I didn't even like this anime that much.

I wanna go home.

I felt someone sit down next to me, making me flinch rather violently and snap me away from my thoughts. I looked over, biting back a gasp when I recognized an anime character. It was #187, the kid in the suspenders and bowtie with the laptop whose name I couldn't remember. He was smiling, so he must have just walked away from his encounter with the fat bastard. I scooched away from him just a bit, feeling the air getting a bit colder and tenser as he opened his laptop and began to type. I watched him fiddle with the keyboard for a bit, clutching the apple in my hand just a bit tighter to the point where I felt it start to crush in on itself.

A confused look took over his face.

_'Oh boy! He's looking over your records, hun!_ ' Blue said, making me jump again.

" _He's what?"_ I shouted internally.

' _Yep! He can't find anything about you other than your name and age, though! Must be making him mad or something.' Blue said. 'Hid 'em good from him, didn't I? It makes you seem more mysterious_.'

Blue, as annoying as she was though, was pretty much keeping me sane here. Arguing with her was a perfect way to get my mind off things.

' _Rude_.'

I decided to move away from him after a few seconds. The typing sounds and suspicious glances were grating on my ears. I found a nice spot farther away, sitting down on the floor. I pulled my knees closer to my chest, setting my backpack in between them. I don't trust anyone here not to rob me. No one here seems to have water or snacks with them, other than that Todo guy. They've seen me pull stuff out and dehydration is a bitch.

"Hello there!"

I squeaked, looking up to my absolute horror. Oh no. Oh hell no. AH HELL NAW! The main bastard that I've been avoiding for the past 2 hours was standing in front of me, innocently smiling and holding a can of juice.

"H-Hello sir." I said once I realized that he was waiting for an answer.

He smiled cheerfully and I felt like simultaneously throwing up and kicking him where it hurts. This man is messed up if he wants to target such a small girl with no remorse. But then again, the same can be said for every other character in this series.

"My name's Tonpa. I noticed you were alone here and thought you could use a friend. You're new here right? I haven't seen you before."

I hugged my bag a little tighter, like a teddy bear. A very hard, lumpy teddy bear.

"Y-Yeah...It's my first time taking this... I'm...Natsuki..." I said, slowly trying to gain more distance between us but to no avail. The wall kept me in place.

I could hear the whispers now.

"There he goes again."

"He's targeting little girls now?"

"Poor kid. I remember when he did that to me."

"That's the Rookie Crusher for you."

I pretended not to hear them.

He said something else that sounded scripted, though I tuned him out in favor of glancing towards the elevator entrance. I nodded along to everything he said, taking one last bite of my apple and chucking the core into the plastic trash bag in the smallest pocket of my bag.

_Come on. Show up already!_ _I wanna get this done with._

A can of juice was shoved in my face, making me jump once again. I shakily grabbed it out of his hands and held it to read the label.

That's when I found something that made me want to panic even more than I already was.

I can't read the language. I cannot read the made up language that was that Togashi invented just for this world. I am illiterate. Blue never said that I could read when designing this character and now I can't do it.

I am going to freaking die in the Trick Tower, if I even make it that far. That requires reading.

' _You never noticed that you couldn't read?'_

' _Excuse me. I had no need to until this point! That book you gave me is in English!'_

' _But you had lunch at that restaurant! How did you read the menu?!'_

' _I was looking at the pictures, ok! I was hungry and the names didn't matter!'_

"A toast to our friendship!" He said, bumping his can against my own and pulling me out of my small argument fest.

I stared at the can, uncertain if I should actually drink it.

' _Hey Blue?'_ I thought.

' _Yeah, fam?_ ' She replied.

' _Can I drink laxatives without them harming me?'_ I thought.

' _Well duh. Were you not listening when I told you all the super awesome powers you have?_ ' She sounded annoyed.

Of course I'm immune to poison. Being freakishly strong isn't enough, apparently. Immunity to poison had to come with it, like every other OC that lands here. What, did I get force fed poison until I could tolerate it when I was a child as a part of my tragic backstory?

' _Thanks. And no I was not.'_

' _Rude._ '

I opened the can and took a small sip of the orange juice. I saw Tonpa's smile turn into one of sadistic glee, but I pretended not to notice and swallowed. Ew. Gon was right. It did taste weird, like someone had watered it down.

"There's poison in this, sir." I said, taking another sip.

What? I was thirsty for something other than water!

Tonpa froze a bit in shock, probably having an internal monologue about how the laxative was flavorless or something. I guess that happens in the anime world. How the hell do people not notice this?

It was an awkward few seconds.

"H-How-" He sputtered out in that overly dramatic shock of his.

The urge to destroy his chance of having children had returned with full force. Do I really need to be polite to this bastard?

' _Yes! Stay in character!'_

' _Ugh. Fine._ '

"I'm resistant to most poisons, laxatives included. And it was rather shady of you to just give me free stuff without much benefit to you. I'll be shocked if people actually fall for it."

I gave him a small, innocent look, though it was painful to do so. The whole wide eyes, head down, eyes up, and slightly pouty lips one that my little sister was known for as a child. That one. Thank the lord this body is cute.

"Please refrain from trying to hurt me, sir. It's not really nice." I kept my voice light and soft-spoken, even though it was killing me inside.

He nodded, staring at me as if he was trying to find something out. Here comes another inner monologue. How do people not notice someone just freezing there and making evil faces for that long?

"Thank you. Might I request that you leave now, sir?" I said.

I saw him grit his teeth in frustration and having yet another monologue as he left. I sighed in relief, letting the death grip on my bag relax. At least that's over.

' _Blue, how much longer until this test starts?'_

' _Funny you ask that._ '

The elevator dinged.

I snapped my attention toward it, watching the door open. My heart leapt to my throat as the three people I was dreading yet expecting walked out. I quickly gulped down the rest of the can of juice, crushing it to act as an emergency stress ball. Wiping my mouth with the back of my gloved hand, I threw the can somewhere to my left, probably hitting some poor sap on the way.

The room went silent, everyone staring at the new competitors. Even when Gon tried to break the tension, the room was still quiet. I let go of the small breath I was holding when they looked away and went back to their own business again. The room followed soon after.

Just a few more minutes.

I opened the small pouch of my bag and pulled out another snack, this time it was a fun sized bag of potato chips.

I guess the Yato clan are big eaters like in Gintama. I don't remember going through this much food before and still being hungry in my other life. I literally went through a lunch meant for 4-6 people today (to the complete horror of the guide), plus the steak they gave me on the way up. Not to mention all the snacks I bought and already went through. I wonder where all that mass was going, seeing as I didn't feel the slightest bit full.

A bit of movement attracted my attention, causing me to look up and frown.

Tonpa was talking with the boys about something. Pretty sure it was about the other competitors and trying to get them to drink the spiked juice cans. He was pointing at random people...

Oh shit. I knew this part.

I covered my ears as fast as I could and pushed my head in between my legs, just in time to block out the sounds of that man's screams of agony. I refuse to look up to see whether his arms got cut off or turned into flower petals. Nope. Not happening. I'll just ignore it. And avoid Hisoka like the new plague.

I stuffed a large handful of chips into my mouth to calm myself, nearly choking myself in the process. Gross. Baked chips with no salt. Oh well.

I slowly got up, swinging my backpack over my shoulder, nervously glancing over at the group of boys conversing with Tonpa. I took this time to look over each of the boys. You know, as scary as he was, Gon was actually kind of adorable. Like that friend's little brother that you just want to squish. Still doesn't mean that he's not a complete lunatic, but he's a cute one.

Damn. Leorio is enormous. He's must be over a foot taller than me at this point. Didn't his bio say that he was 6'4? He didn't look as old as I expected him to. Then again, I've been to college and had seen many 19 year olds that could pass for much older, so it's not a big shock. He was rather handsome, the more I look at him.

Kurapika wasn't as tall as him, but could still tower over me if I were to stand next to him. (Even Gon was taller than me and that's saying something.) Probably crush me with his bare hands too. His blond hair was really pretty and so was his face, but that vibe I got from him was an instant turn off.

I gotta admit...I can see why the girls fond over them so much.

' _Go over there.'_ Blue said.

' _What?!'_

_'_ _Go introduce yourself!_ _Every OC meets the guys right before the First Phase starts!'_

' _Did you not hear me when I said that I would avoid them like the new plague?!'_

' _Ugh'_ Blue scoffed. ' _Then what fun is this fanfiction if you don't meet the main characters?'_

_'Blue, these boys are going to cause my premature death!'_

_'That's a small price to pay for your adventure! Who knows, you might even fall in love with one of them!'_

' _Don't tell me-'_

_'OH! MAYBE EVEN A LOVE TRIANGLE!'_

I knew it. I knew this was going to happen. Out of all the fucking cliches in the world of fanfiction, that one right there was my most hated one. Shoot me now. I take back all that stuff I said about not wanting to die.

' _MY MONEY'S ON KURAPIKA OR KILLUA!_ '

I much rather have someone like Leorio. He's the most sane out of all of them, even if he's the perverted butt monkey of the cast. Plus, he's my age, so that gives him an added bonus.

' _I doubt it. I'm too mentally old for Killua and too young physically for Kurapika. No shipping, ok?'_

' _You're no fun!'_

' _Don't have to be. I just have to be smart enough to live. Which is why I'm not going over there.'_

_'Grr. Oh yes you are!'_

I suddenly felt someone pull me up from the ground by my hood, even though there was no one there, causing me to scream. Or, I would have screamed, but found that no sound would come out. I gasped, feeling pressure like no other as my body begin to move on its own, despite my desperate struggles to regain control.

' _BLUE, WHAT THE FUCK?!'_

I, or rather, this cursed body, bent down and grabbed a large jawbreaker from my bag. I screamed internally again, knowing damn well what she was planning on doing. Without my consent, my body threw it as hard as it could at the cans that Tonpa was offering the group.

It knocked one out of his hand, sending it flying and hitting Leorio right in the face.

I was then snapped back into full control, the relief of the pressure only lasted a second before the reality of Blue's actions set in. I yelped and covered my mouth with my hands to hide my shock, feeling myself freeze as a wave of terror suddenly engulfed my senses.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL?"

Oh fuck. I nervously looked up to see a worried Gon leaning towards his fallen friend, an angry Leorio rubbing his nose, and an on guard Kurapika with his hands near his weapon.

All staring at me.

' _Oh fuck.'_

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art here is by Nyxofthenight12, who draws fake screenshots for fanfiction authors.   
> Y'all should give her a follow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amber panics when meeting the cast

Remember when I mentioned that Blue was keeping me sane? Yeah, fuck that. I'm going to kill her the next time I see her.

I stared at the faces of my death, my fear rooting me to my spot. I quickly averted my eyes, focusing on my stupid shoes while trying not to panic. I failed in every conceivable way. I felt the heat rush to my face, cold sweat breaking through my skin and my body beginning to shake. My hands were starting to clam up underneath my gloves and my breathing began to increase. I had to hold my breath so that I wouldn't start hyperventilating.

"Hey kid?! What's the big idea, huh?!" Leorio screamed, stomping over to me while his face lit with exaggerated anger.

Normally, this would have been hilarious to see on TV in the comfort of my own bed, where I wasn't the direct cause and target of said anger. Right now, however, I had to fight back the tears of sheer terror that were stinging my eyes, especially when he grabbed onto my shoulder when I was about to bolt for it. I nearly cried out when I felt the unwanted contact. This is it, guys.

I was going to die. This is it. Beam me up, Goddy. My time has come...I'm going to hell for that, aren't I?

Oh god, they were right in front of me. Leorio was right in front of me and touching me and touching me while standing in front of me and...oh God. They won't do anything to me, right? They aren't Hisoka or Illumi or any of those people. They won't kill me just for a small thing like that. It'll be fine. I'll be fine. I know I'll be fine. Why am I so scared then?

I gulped, struggling to think of a response.

I was right. Leorio towered over me easily. I was a dwarf or even a halfling compared to him. I mean, I barely reached up to his waist. I don't even want to look up right now. I'll just keeping looking at his shoes until he goes away. He's going to go away soon, right? He's not really going to care that I just hit him in the face...

' _Blue, help me!'_

_'Nah.'_

' _BITCH! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!'_

' _Kind of.'_

_'_ _Well fuck you too then!'_

' _Rude.'_

I gulped again and took a small step back, but his grip, which was actually starting to hurt a bit, was keeping me in place. Something tells me that that was going to bruise later on. Gotta think. Gotta think. I need a good excuse for throwing candy at them. One that isn't complete bullshit like all the ones that I usually think of or the truth.

Do you think they'll believe me if I tell them that a crazy, pink haired fangirl with cosmic fanfiction powers took over my body and threw the candy to get them to take me on epic adventures that could result in my death for the sake of people's entertainment? Either they'd be extremely open minded or toss me away into a looney bin first chance they'd get.

Wait...I threw candy...and hit Leorio's juice can...plus his face with the can. The can that I already knew was poisoned...THAT'S IT!

"T-The juice was p-poisoned, sir... I was t-trying to s-stop you from d-drinking it..." I said, stuttering and so soft it was almost a whisper.

I felt his grip loosen, which gave me a chance to move his hand off of me. I quickly took a step back, only for my back to hit the wall I was leaning on. I gulped again, clenching my fists and trying to make myself as small and non threatening as possible. For once, I was glad I looked like a fragile doll. I saw him soften considerably, giving me that look you'd give to an injured kitten.

"M-My deepest a-apologies f-for hitting you. It was not m-my intention to." I bowed slightly, hand clasped in front of my chest to play up the scared little girl act.

' _Please buy it. Please buy it. Please buy it.'_

Gradually, I felt the atmosphere become less intense as Leorio's anger started to go down. Though, the small glares that Tonpa was giving me, along with the suspicious ones of Kurapika were still bringing the mood down. Especially Kurapika, that scary bitch. If those eyes could burn holes into me, I would be Swiss Cheese. I looked down again.

"WHAT? YOU BASTARD!" Leorio spluttered, no doubt turning on Tonpa.

Good. If their attention is turned on Tonpa, then they'll leave me alone and I can go back to avoiding them. Screw what Blue said. I was just about to grab my bag and book it, when a voice stopped me.

"How did you know it was poisoned?"

Dammit! Kurapika just had to turn this back to me, didn't he? He couldn't just leave me here to run away from them in peace like a normal person. Who am I kidding? I wouldn't leave me alone either if a complete stranger hit my friend in the face out of nowhere.

Kurapika was very intimidating in real life. His voice was hard and demanding, enough to send shivers up my spine. Just the feeling I got when I stood around him was very cold and gave me a 'don't get close to me' vibe. I wonder why no one has commented on this in those other fics. Probably fangirls too blind to see what this boy was actually like in real life to strangers.

"I-I drank it, s-sir. It t-tasted like laxatives." I stuttered out, withering under his intense glare.

Damn it all. I could feel his suspicious looks and I frankly, did not find them anywhere near pleasant. They were cold and crushing a so terrible, I almost cried. Oh god, my chest felt tight and my mouth became dry just looking at him. It took all my sheer willpower to force those damn tears back down.

How did anyone find this character hot and alluring? I find him, along with every other character here, bat shit crazy. It was too intense for my Slice of Life and Comedy anime loving heart.

"If you drank it, how are you still standing? Shouldn't you be undergoing its effects too?" He still sounded suspicious.

Why can't you just let this go, man? It's not like I hit you with that jawbreaker!

"I'm immune to m-most poisons, sir." I said. "Most of my tribe is. I c-can still taste it, though."

I squeaked when a face suddenly appeared before mine, sending me back to cowering against the wall. The kid didn't seem to notice my uneasiness and smiled brightly at me. Oh shit, I completely forgot about Gon!

"Really? That's so cool!"

I flinched, biting me lip and resisting the urge to panic again.

"I lived near the forest, so my tongue is trained to detect anything weird!" He said. "Thanks for trying to warn us before anything bad happened! I can't imagine what would happen if one of us drank it."

He's a really perky kid, I'll give him that. Terrible at reading the mood and probably a little deranged, though. It should be obvious how suspicious his friends were of me, plus someone just tried to poison him. How the hell was he still so happy?

"Yeah. Can't imagine." Leorio said through gritted teeth, holding Tonpa by his collar.

"My name is Gon! This is Leorio, Kurapika and Mr. Tonpa! What's your name?"

I blinked and tentatively looked up, finally managing to calm my breathing. Kurapika's glares didn't go down at all. I'm starting to think that he thought I wasn't to be trusted. I didn't blame him, but it still stung a little.

I caught a glimpse of Gon's eyes and it was like they were made of freaking sugar. I never saw such sweet and innocent eyes before. They made me feel at ease around them, like nothing could go wrong with him around and it took me biting my own tongue to snap out of it. Both the anime and the manga were right with their portrayal of him. Gon has a gift for getting people to trust him.

It wasn't until a few moments of staring did I realize what he said.

"Please to meet you, Gon-sama, Leorio-sama, Kurapika-sama, and Tonpa." I curtsied, bowing while holding the ends of my complex hoodie.

I could hear Blue squealing in my head at how perfectly I made her character act. (Where the fuck was she just now?!) I could only cringe at the way Blue's character spoke. It was way too stiff and formal to sound natural, even if I was a high class princess. It was like she was trying too hard to sound like one of those mysterious female characters in a 90s action anime.

I pulled myself back up, but kept my eyes down. I don't think I can handle seeing them glare at me anymore.

Wait a minute. Shouldn't the first phase have started by now? I'm pretty damn sure this whole ordeal took a hell of a lot longer than what we were shown in the anime. Did the time frames of transitioning change to revolve around my life here? What kind of logic is that?

_BBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!_

OH THANK DEAD LORD JESUS IN HEAVEN!

The entire room fell silent as the god forsaken screech filled the room, some covering their ears like weak bitches. I took that time to grab my bag, throw it over my shoulders, and scuttle away while they were distracted into the crowd to hide.

_'FREEDOM!'_

' _BUT YOU WERE JUST GETTING TO KNOW THEM!'_

' _No, I was getting interrogated and manhandled_ _!'_

Once I knew I was safely hidden behind the nearest person (oh hey look, it's Hanzo!), I let myself relax with a sigh of relief.

Thank god I was out of there.

I peaked out from behind Hanzo's (he only spared me a brief glance, then ignored me to look back up front) leg to see if they noticed that I was gone, but quickly moved back when I saw one of them looking around the room. Fuck, Gon was looking around for me.

I gripped onto the straps of my backpack just a bit tighter and tried to step farther up into the front of the room, though it was impossible with the large amount of people even with my small size. Fuck, I was stuck in the back behind these mammoths that claimed to be human beings.

"As of now," I was too short to see Satotz, even on my tippy toes, though I could hear him. "Registration is closed."

Welp. Time to die.

I gulped, opening my backpack to triple check that I had everything. How much water do I have? I refilled them in the restaurant below and drank one here, so I have at least 5 of them left. Maybe more if I get more juice from Tonpa, as gross as it was. I still had some snacks left and I could always ask Blue for a First Aid kit if I ever need one...

"The Hunter Exam will now begin. Everyone ready? Good."

I was not ready, but I braced myself. It's only...like...6 to 8...hours...of running...I'm going to die.

"This way please."

Satotz kept talking in the background. Yada yada Exam...yada yada rigorous...yeah yeah death or permanent injury by sabotage...

Can we just get this over with? It's been like 2 minutes of walking and my feet already hurt. I need better shoes, ones that can be used for actual running. Why did Blue choose a character with the most non-practical design again? Sure, the other's had some questionable attire for a lot of physical movement, but at least they seemed reasonable to fight in. I was in fucking doll clothes!

It wasn't long until we started running. After about 10 minutes, I started to notice something was seriously wrong. For the first time in, well, ever I didn't feel as if my lungs were trying to strangle themselves. What's going on? Usually I'm a sweating, sobbing couch potato on the ground by now. That's how it always ended up like in gym class, but here I'm perfectly fine. Why wasn't I crying my eyes out and begging for an ambulance?

' _Isn't it obvious? That was your old body that tired out easily. You're my character now, and you're stronger than anyone!_ '

That made a lot more sense. Maybe being in an OP character's body isn't such a bad idea. As annoying as the social interactions and the blatant storytelling issues that come with it, I much prefer not feeling my soul leave my body when doing these phases.

"A skateboard?! That's cheating!"

I nearly tripped. I knew that voice and what this was.

Dammit! I ran way too close to them. And there's no more room to run up ahead right now. How did I not notice? Why didn't I notice?

No. Wait. I made sure that I wasn't running anywhere near them and I was on the other side of the room a minute ago. There is no way in hell that I could have made it there by accident.

Unless...

' _BLUE, DID YOU DO THIS?'_ I screamed.

' _Do what?'_ She said, feigning innocence.

' _ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED?'_

' _I don't know what you mean. I'm simply giving you a small push in the right direction.'_

_'THIS IS A VIOLATION OF MY FREE WILL!'_

' _Oh please. It's not that bad. Now go make friends and possible boyfriends!'_

Someone shoot me!

I tried to run back to my spot, but the harder I ran, the most the ground seemed to be taking me back towards the direction of the main cast. I cursed out Blue the entire way, but something tells me she wasn't listening to me anymore.

_'Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me.'_

There was no way they weren't going to notice me now. I already got the attention of the main character, so there's no point of trying to blend into the background. Plus, it's really freaking hard with a bright pink outfit on.

Oh god, I was starting to panic again. My plan of just getting this done and going away was starting to crumble even more until there was nothing left. I don't want to be a main character. Please leave me alone.

"THIS IS AN ENDURANCE TEST!"

Why would I want that? Every character in this show goes through extreme hardships one way or another. I don't want to risk losing limbs, being beaten to a pulp, training until I can't feel my body anymore, or destroying myself trying to get stronger. I just want to go home, with my cat and finish watching Acchi Kocchi!

"CAN'T YOU TELL I'M A TEENAGER JUST LIKE YOU GUYS?"

Wait, isn't this the part where Killua shows up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artist unknown.


End file.
